As a guest of Sophia Domina, you are responsible for yourself and any guests you bring with you to be aware of these guidelines and adhere to them.  

• Sophia Domina welcomes self-expression with clear communication and enthusiastic consent.

• Practice enthusiastic consent for all intimate interactions. Talk about what you want to do before you do it. Yes means yes, maybe means no. Don’t try to join in on someone else’s play without being invited by the participants, including guests and performers. Once playing, don’t go beyond the boundaries discussed with your play partner without asking.

• Know your limits. Communication is two-way. Feel good about saying “no thanks.” Don’t be afraid to say “stop” or use your safeword if you are feeling uncomfortable about anything happening in your play scene. 

• Don’t be pushy! Don’t pressure anyone to do anything sooner than they are comfortable with. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If someone tells you they don’t want to play (or don’t want to right now), don’t keep asking them.  

• Take rejection gracefully. If someone turns down your invitation to play, then it is on you to accept this with grace, be polite, and move on. It is not acceptable to  insist on any explanation of why they don’t want to play with you, to be rude or negative in response, or to keep pestering them about it.

• Be cool. Aggressive behavior of any kind is not welcome at our events.  Whether it’s toward other attendees, our event team, or to your partner, don’t inflict your negative vibes on anyone at our events. If you’re in a bad mood, then just stay home and come out to play another day.

• Intoxication. If you choose to drink alcohol, please do so in moderation. If you are drunk, you may not be as mindful of your own boundaries or those of others.  Anyone who seems overly intoxicated at an event may be asked to leave.

• Play safe. Some types of play can involve inherent risks.  Please don’t attempt any type of activity unless you are educated in how to do it with risk mitigation in mind, and in a state of mind which is conducive to safe play.  This includes activities that may seem harmless to the untrained eye, such as rope bondage (aka shibari).

• Sexual safety. Condom use and sexual safety should be discussed before engaging in sexual play with a new play partner. Removing a condom during sex without your play partner knowing and agreeing is a consent violation, and will be treated as such.

• Testing. Not everyone engages in play at our events and some engage in play only with their partner, or with others but only in ways that are not directly sexual. For these reasons, we have not required guests at our events to show us proof of a recent STI test. We suggest guests get STI testing within two weeks of the event if they would like to share these with other guests. Please note that not all STIs have the same incubation period, nor are all STIs included on basic panels (HPV and HSV are typically not).

• “Red” is a universal safeword at our events. Say this word if you are feeling uncomfortable with anything that is happening to you. If you hear someone say this word, stop whatever you are doing immediately, and check in with the person.

• No pay for play. All play at our events is done for the joy of it.  It is not ok to offer or ask for money in exchange for play.

• Clean up after yourself. If you decide to play, please be sure to wipe down any furniture or other equipment that you used. If you spill something, please clean it up.

• Cameras and phones are not allowed to be used in most areas at our events.  By not allowing photos, all attendees can feel more uninhibited to explore their desires safely.  We ask that no phones be used (even for text messaging) so that everyone in the room can be sure you aren’t using it to take a picture. Each event will have a designated & sign-posted area where you can check your phone / make calls, and some events may also have a photo booth area, which is the only exception to the no photo rule.

• Watch politely. Many of our guests don’t mind at all being watched while they play. So unless someone asks you not to… watch away!  But please do so from a respectful distance, and keep any talking quiet so as not to interrupt the vibe of other people’s play.

• Voice your concerns. Help us keep our events awesome as we grow.  If you see someone acting contrary to the spirit of our community and this code of conduct, please let us know by telling a crew member at the event.